what’s to be gained with goal setting

We live in a world where productivity is king. Where doing and moving and achieving is a direct indicator of success. Not to mention of our own value. It hardly comes as a surprise that manoeuvring our lives around goals has become second nature. New Year’s resolutions, Veganuary, giving chocolate up for Lent, losing weight for the summer bikini body? We’ve all been there.

Setting goals or meeting goals?

We don’t seem to have any problem with setting goals. But meeting them? Exceeding them? That is an altogether different party. Think back to the last few months - how many personal targets have you set yourself and of those, how many have you achieved? It’s incredibly hard. I know it myself. While many of us consider juggling life admin, families, work, and the general stresses of the world enough to fill our day, bolting on an additional personal target can feel prohibitive.

Personally I find it hard to prioritise personal goals. It can feel selfish to lay down a target and find energy and space to put that above other things in my day. Equally what I’ve learned in my rollercoaster of goal setting is that unless there’s something attached to my targets, I’ll never get there. I need to find real meaning in my goal, it needs to resonate with me and my values for it to happen.

Over time, I’ve learnt that it’s not selfish to take time to set our sights on something and hold ourselves accountable. On the contrary I think it’s key to a sense of identity, key to staying in touch with our passions, and key to modelling positive personal development for our children and families.

But how can we do it? How is it possible to set goals that really mean something to us and even harder, to reach them?

On my try, fail and try again journey, I’ve come back to a few things that continue to help me on my way:

Go On a Date. With Yourself.

Yes, really. Set a time in the diary to take at least one hour to yourself when you have no distractions or no other demands on your time. Go for a long walk. Have a coffee. Don’t listen to a podcast or watch TV, just give yourself the time to think. Make sure you have a notepad to jot down thoughts and ideas, you’ll be surprised at what might appear when you give yourself time.

Get Inquisitive

We’re all pretty good at staying in our comfort zones and we love to ignore the tricky questions when it comes to ourselves but it’s time to change that habit. Ask and answer some questions and make a note of what comes to you in response.  What goals appear? How do they relate to your work, your life, your health, your family? Be open minded and led by honest responses.

What do I want my life to look like? 

Do I have a problem that I need to solve?

What excites me?

What inspires me?

What am I doing that sucks all of my energy?

What do I really want to change in my life?

What is Your ‘Why’?

Don’t just set goals for the sake of it. Understand the purpose and reason behind them and know that to really achieve them, you have to believe in what you’re doing. If you have a goal in mind, ask yourself:

Why do I want to achieve this goal? 

How important is it to me to archive this goal?

What in my life will be different when I achieve this goal?

What will my life look like if I don’t achieve this goal? 

If you find there is no real motivating reason behind your goal, strike it off the list.

Get Real

Once you’ve established your goals, it’s time to refine them. Highlight the ones that stand out to you, that really make you excited and feel as though your life will change for the better if you could achieve them. Aim to get your list down to 3 maximum. Once you’ve done this, select just one that will have the most immediate impact on your life and choose that as your top priority.

Be Aware of Self Sabotage

Be honest with yourself. Negative thoughts and behaviours can creep in and derail your process but recognising them when they do will really help you to work through the process without that happening. Procrastination if a very common way of self-sabotaging but looking out for that and moving past it will be liberating.

Find a Support System

Building a support network is crucial to success. Tell your family and friends what you’re doing, what you’re hoping to achieve and why it’s important to you. Ask them to support you on your journey.

Believe in Yourself

This one is the glue holding everything together. The only way you’ll be able to do what you set out to do, is to believe you can do it. Speak it out loud regularly and tell yourself what your life is going to be like, where you’re going, and who you are. Make sure you believe it.

As a health coach I’m passionate about helping women take back control of their lives and move towards their own goals. If the tips above have sparked a desire for change but you don’t know where to start, click on the ‘Work with Eve’ button at the top of the page to organise a call to explore which RealWell Health Coaching programme would work for you.