The Fudge on the Shelf - From Fine To Fulfilled
A few years ago while at a work event, I was listening to a young woman giving a presentation about her career. It struck me how much she loved what she did, how passionate she was about her work. It hit me that I couldn’t say the same. At the time, I was a single mother, fuelled by earning enough to properly support my daughter and frankly a steady job that I enjoyed (even if it wasn’t my passion) seemed like a good option. Reliable pay checks, a healthy work environment and good workmates made it hard to refuse. Things did change for me as the years went by - meeting my husband and blending our families, moving up in my career - but I’ll never forget that lightbulb moment, the idea that we can find passion and not just satisfaction in our careers.
CONTENT OR TRULY HAPPY?
As time passed, I found myself reflecting on what my career path was going to be and when I allowed myself to be very honest, I recognised that although I was content with the choices I’d made, I didn’t feel completely fulfilled. I was at a stage where my role as a mother had been a priority for such a long time that I wasn’t entirely sure who I was outside of that. Was this what I wanted for the rest of my life and the message I wanted to model to my daughter? Did being a mother mean giving up your dreams, and prioritising your own needs mean to be selfish?
Carving out some time, I made a little ‘general’ career wish list. Nothing heavy…To do something that fuelled my passions, something that allowed me flexibility and work-life balance as well as something that supported the family hopes of travel and exploration. Should be a cinch right?
ONE DEGREE TURNS
As for that work event that got me thinking? That day, every attendee had been given a little piece of handmade fudge beautifully wrapped and made by a young Irish entrepreneur. It sat on my shelf after the event and reminded me of my own list, my own hopes. The fudge is no longer there (I’m still suspicious about who is responsible for that!) but it has been replaced with a determined set of personal goals. Goals that have helped me realign with myself. From setting aside feelings of guilt in recognising that finding my own passion is not selfish, to stepping outside of my comfort zone and testing my limits. At the time, it felt as though I was achieving nothing, reading and thinking, making lists and taking small steps but now looking back, it’s clear that the individual one degree turns have amounted to significant change over time.
PASSION TO PROFESSION
I prioritised my own health and wellness journey. I found a space for my passions to become my profession. I made some incredible friendships along the way. I learned that my goals are not a destination but that the learning and finding my way has been and continues to be the reward. That’s not to say I have everything figured out, absolutely not! But I’ve found a huge amount of peace in knowing that I’ve made space to let things happen. To trust myself and what I’ve learned and to find satisfaction in ways that resonate with me as myself, not just with me as a mother.
So, fudge aside, speaking to friends and clients, I think many of us find ourselves in this space. Somewhere between early decisions and the rest of our lives, conscientiously juggling parenting and partnering, life-ing and living and wondering where we fit into the spaces in between. It’s hard. Time feels short, opportunities feel behind us but if you can, take a second. Maybe you have your own piece of fudge on the shelf that reminds you of a change you meant to make.
Small things can make big differences, to our health and to our happiness. They certainly have done to mine.
As a health coach I’m passionate about helping women take back control of their lives and achieve their health and nutrition goals. If the tips above have sparked a desire for change but you don’t know where to start, click on the button below to organise a call to explore which RealWell Health Coaching programme would work for you.